


What the fuck is this shit?

by Quill18, Salty_Dog



Series: Tikkun Olam - Genosha [11]
Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Character of Color, Cyborgs, Gen, Nonbinary Character, amputee character, labsibings being weird, labsiblings being little shits, logan eating donuts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2020-12-16 00:31:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21027308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quill18/pseuds/Quill18, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salty_Dog/pseuds/Salty_Dog
Summary: Lab siblings reacting to each other's new threads and body parts. Daken also looses his mind at seeing Logan wearing a suit and eating donuts off his claws. Part of a longer series.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written by Salty_Dog back in Spring 2019! Eel and Daken here are Transigen survivors. Eel is 13 and Daken is 15. Eel recently recieved zir tail here after zir legs had to be amputated because of lab bullshit when ze was 8. Daken has a suit so he can go to court for his emancipation hearing from Logan.

"What the fuck is this shit!" Eel shouts, gesturing at Daken's new suit, a far cry from Daken's usual wear of never-ending months filled with band t-shirts, punk hospital gowns and tattoos.

"The fuck is this? The fuck is that shit!" Daken points at the currently glowing and hovering mechanical fishtail, the prototype completed with clicking fins.

"The fuck?!"

"The fuck?!" They say it to each other over and over as they approach and start to circle each other.

"Stay still, I can't see the back," said Daken.

"You stay still, fucker."

"Fuck you."

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck you!"

"FUCK YOU!" Eel bellowed.

"No u." Daken countered.

"No u."

Daken paused, muttering a soft "damn" as if a real burn had been uttered.

Eel snorted and circled him, to take in the blue suit, Daken turned his head to follow zir.

"Why'd you get a suit?"

"Why'd you get a tail?" Daken snapped back.

"So I can hover, stupid."

"You could have gotten legs to walk."

"Fuck legs." Eel responds automatically, zir fins flipped quickly, maybe ze needed to ask Amp why they'd randomly do that.

"Suits are cool, means I'm an important guy, respect." He teases, making a few dumb signs. "Nah, I just need it for doing court stuff."

"Eh." Eel replies with a shrug, zir circling around Daken stopped.

"Can you imagine Logan in one of these in court though?"

Both of the labsiblings cackle.


	2. Logan In A Suit, Eating Doughnuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teenage Daken looses his mind at seeing Logan in a suit while eating donuts off his claws.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cosplayer is therealweaponx from instagram. I took the pic at Sac-Anime Winter 2020. Donuts sold by Carlos Casillas/Donut_Maker123 on instagram.
> 
> Written by Salty_Dog. Edited by Me. 
> 
> Tikkun Olam Genosha Discord Server: https://discord.gg/eA64MqR  
\---  
Daken is no older then sixteen here. Logan signed off on his emancipation because he believes in extreme free range parenting and it'll keep Genoshan Youth Services off his back.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49438560106/in/dateposted-public/)

No fucking way," Daken said watching Logan eating doughnuts off his claws. Someone actually threw a doughnut onto one and Logan had to use his other hand to stop the sliced donut hitting the ground. "The fuck is this shit!"

"What," Logan said. "I'm not allowed a doughnut now?"

"You know that's not what I mean," Daken scowled, moving out past a gaggle of people.

"Kid, I get it, you don't want your old man at your homeschool group's fair slash prom thing," He shrugged his shoulder getting ready to say more when Daken cut him off.

"No! What the fuck is this shit?!" Daken pointed at Logan and waved his hand about.

"What?" Logan glanced down and checked under his jacket before he looked back up, "You mean the suit?"

"No shit!" Daken didn't know what to do with himself and paced back and forth before turning on his heel and gesturing again. "The fuck?!"

"It's just a suit, kid. Calm the fuck down." Logan said irritably.

"The fuck!" Daken cursed.

"...The fuck." Logan said while he shook his head.

"The fuck!" Daken burst before he squatted down and tried not to hyperventilate. "I can't deal with this, I'm texting Laura."

"Kid," Logan said before he sighed and put a hand to his temple. "Okay. It's just a suit. Relax. You don't have to drag your sister into whatever this is. Calm the- down."

Daken however was already typing before he straightened up, took a picture and squatted down again.

"Really," Logan said, but he wasn't listening.

"What the fuuuuuccckkk?!?!" Dakken typed, attaching a picture of Logan in formal attire.

"The fuck? Lol." Laura responded. "Just avoid him."

"The SUIT?!?!" Daken pointed out the obvious travesty.

"Yeah? He wears those." Laura texted back as if this wasn't earth shattering.

"What the fuck?!!"

"Yeah, usually if he's a chauffeur for a fancy event. He was driving those girls to prom today, remember? The fuck dude, seriously."

"What the FUCK?!" Daken typed before key spamming. Obviously he needed to show someone who'd understand the weight of the situation.

"Fucking stop taking a shit and come here," he texted Eel. "Doughnut shop."

"I'll shit as long as I want to u dick." Eel texted back.

Daken writhed before he saw Eel in zir fishy glory was already coming over.

"The fuck?" Eel said.

"Right?!" Daken jumped, grabbing Eel's arm.

"The fuck!"

"The FUCK!"

"Oh my god," said Logan as he stood beside two children swearing over his suit.  
"The fuck!"

"The fuck!" Daken pulled on his hair, ruining his styling of it.

"Can I have a doughnut?" Eel asked Logan, gesturing to the skewered desserts.

"The fuck?" Daken said at this sudden betrayal.

Logan grunted and fished out his wallet, paying the man who happily passed him a cardboard box of them, which he then passed to Eel.

"Where's mine?!" Daken asked.

"Just share, there's enough." Logan replied.

"I want churros." Daken said.

"Who are you, Laura?" Logan said, but he grabbed at his wallet and took a quick glance up at the sign anyway.

"Thanks, Knife Batch-Grandpa!" Eel said which made the man grimace.

"The hell, kid." He said at the same time Daken said "What the fuck."

"Grandpa?" Daken asked Eel before he turned to Logan. "Grandpa."

"Hey," Logan pointed at him, "Don't start this shit."

"Thanks Gramps," Daken said as he got his churros a minute later and ran off. Logan held his head and just sighed.

"Cute kids!" The doughnut man said as he waved them goodbye.

"They'd better be for the shit they pull," Logan said with a grimace. "...You got any chocolate ones?" He asked and doughnut man beamed.


	3. What Da Fuuuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Salty as usual wrote this chapter and I edited it. Teenage Daken is unsettled by Logan organizing his house, the flashbacks to Transigen, and the revelation that he's somehow more relaxed in a neat area then his usual chaotic living space.

"He's done it again." Laura called out, her voice rang through the house. Daken ran into the kitchen to see what new horror Logan had unleashed. His feet skidded on the floor and he did a quick heel-turn to avoid the counter.

Logan sighed as he put away the step ladder. "Okay, stop playing the game where everything I do is suddenly interesting. It gets old."

Daken turned to his sister. Laura slid out a claw and pointed at the collection of baking pans on the counter, then to the overhead cabinet Logan had just fiddled with. Once, it's interior was a towering tilting mess of muffin trays, pans and molds.

Not any more.

It now had vertical shelves.

"The fuck?" Daken swore, Logan nearly cuffed him on the back of the head as Daken side-stepped his dad.

Daken held up a fist, an inch of bone claw slid out.

"It's fine. Don't be a drama queen." Logan said. "Just got sick of them being stacked and falling everywhere." He grabbed a few muffin trays from the counter and started shoving them in vertically.

"Oh," Daken said with sudden clarity, as he watched the trays being placed. 

His memory flickered with the spartan organization of Transigen's labatories, the place where he and his fellow littermates got cooked up in. The white walls, the shining steel counters, the cold cages that they slept in every night.

Logan's voice drifted into the memory.

"Laura, where do you want these?" Logan asked, lifting up a stack of loaf pans.

"Far side," she said. And all the loaf pans were put on the far-most right shelf.

The scientists of Transigen never asked for their input on anything, never asked what would make them comfortable or how they felt about the frequent reorganization and sterilization.

"You have an opinion?" Logan asked over his shoulder.

It took a moment for Daken to realize the question was aimed at him, then he snorted.

"Nah, I don't use this shit, that's Laura's crap."

"Is that so, huh?" Logan held up a large silicone mold of anatomically correct hearts, it briefly flapped in front of Daken's face.

"Ah, forgot I had those… do we have any jelly?" Daken said as he took the mold and started wiggling it as the silicon waggled and bent.

"Yeah. Check that you have space before you start." Logan told him as he sorted through the pile of large rectangular pans.

"Feh, it's cold enough outside." Daken said, but as he saw the diminishing space in the overhead cabinet, he tucked his baking oddities in their own little section.

Despite first appearances, everything did end up fitting pretty neatly, just in time for the kitchen timer to beep as Laura pulled out a tray of cookies. Organ-shaped cookies.

Daken stared blankly at the organized cupboard for a minute more while he waited for the treats to cool down. They tasted better when they didn't burn you, not that he minded the pain too much.

"You said 'again' yeah?" Asked Daken.

Laura shrugged. "You might have missed it, lawsuit boy. He usually does it when we're not in the way."

"Thought I was getting better at being neat!" Horror struck Daken and he ran out to the other rooms to check.

The entryway had new hooks and a row for wet boots.

The pantry had the can dispenser.

In fact most everywhere had something to help keep things extra neat and orderly.

Even Logan's bar room had a bottle opener set above a box so the tops would just drop in.

Daken twitched a bit. He was starting to miss the organized chaos of the past, what's next? Wanting to be a lab rat, a guinea pig?

Fuuuuuck that.

Daken returned to his room and fell onto this bed. He sunk into it, as he stared at the ceiling blankly.

Despite everything maybe that's why he'd been less stressed in the house compared to Eel's boat.

Heck, maybe that's why he chilled more in the living room than his actual room, which was as messy as ever with and starting to stress him out.

"What the fuck," he said aloud to himself. "What the fuuuuuck."


	4. Birthday Card

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan gets a birthday card from Daken. Logan is not pleased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Props to CoinManatee for looking this over!

Logan grunted in interested as he looked through the morning's mail. It wasn't empty for once. He was old enough to have seen the rise and fall of paper-based mail. Bills and official documents are sent electronically nowadays, so only packages came through the mail. But even that was becoming rarer with the growing interest in teleportation delivery. Only thing slowing it down was the extortionate level of shipping prices that Genosha charged. 

In his box, was a single paper envelope. Funny, he hadn't seen one of these in a while.

Only hipsters sent letters.

His coffee tasted bitter on his lips as he padded back to his kitchen, underneath the dead stares of the family taxidermy collection.

(Laura enjoyed adding googly eyes to the stuffed animals way too much.)

The wooden barstool creaked as Logan sat his stout muscled body into it. He took a whiff of it. The envelope smelled familiar, like Daken.

Scrawled in chicken scratch, it said "Happy Birthday To Me!"

The older mutant rolled his eyes. He had taken the boy out for celebratory drinks last week and had to drag Daken's sorry hide off the stripper pole from the bar after his son attempted to enter during Amateur Night.

Jesus fuck, no father wanted to see their son strip.

His claws went SNIKT as he ripped open the envelope.

What the fuck.

What the fucking fuck was this shit?!

Logan's coffee mug crashed to the floor, as he threw the photo away.

no. NO.

HE DID NOT WANT TO SEE THIS SHIT.

The photo fluttered to the ground, landing on its backside.

"Happy birthday to me, Dad! I'm taller then you!"

Logan face-palmed. At least the little shit wasn't as scrawny as he used to be, fresh out of fucking Transigen.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art credit to Nick Robles: https://twitter.com/ArtofNickRobles/status/1237837548023676934

**Author's Note:**

> Eel is in Fish Out Of Water, another entry in the series.


End file.
